Scene Battles of Konoha
by mabari
Summary: What happens when a certain Uzumaki tries to seduce his crush, which happens to be a certain Uchiha. By using means of one of his favorite scenes from a Jim Carry movie. AU, some OOC, Rated M for safety.
1. Chapter 1

'Why the hell did I ever listen that dope.' A certain Uchiha asked himself for a thousandth time that evening. Sitting back down in the park bench he couldn't help but think on how cute the dope looked when he asked him to meet him at the park that evening. 'Fuck it, I'm leaving, the dope isn't here.' And just as he got up to walk away, Uzumaki Naruto happened to appear.

As Naruto leans against the tree smirking, Sasuke begins to wonder what the dope was up to till he heard what came out of the Uzumaki's mouth.

"Hello, Cherie. We meet again. Is it fate? Is it written in the stars that we are destined to fraternize? [Pause] I'd like to think so. Ha, ha, ha!"

Seeming confused only lead Naruto on and sweep the Uchiha off his own feet. And the next thing he knew not was going to happen as well.

"Kiss me, my sweet, and I will reveal my croissant. I will spread your pate. I will dip my ladle in your vichyssoise." Sasuke then knees him in the nuts and runs off.

"He is so coy. I love it."

Running toward the scared Uchiha now, and stop him only to start walking forward causing our Uchiha to walk backwards and fall on the bench.

"Our love is like a red, red rose… and I'm a little thorny." Not knowing what to do now, the only thing that Sasuke could do was sit up and try to crawl away. But Naruto stops him by going to his other side.

"Uzumaki! Freeze!" And Naruto jumps over Sasuke and freezes in midair allowing the Uchiha to escape.

"All right, hands up!"

"But you told me to freeze Konohamaru!"

"Un-freeze then!" Naruto then falls to the ground. "You're under arrest."

"It wasn't me! It was the one-armed rogue! All right, I confess! I did it ya hear! And, I'm glad! Glad, I tell ya!

Upon watching this and letting it all soak in, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if all of this was set up to get him and Naruto together. And that it being the dope's idea, because he only knew of Naruto who would pull a scene from his favorite actor and do it in real life. Oh yes he was going to get back at the blond dope.


	2. Chapter 2

Sitting on the couch of their shared apartment now. That's right not long after the incident that Naruto created two weeks ago, allowed them to get together and move into a shared apartment. In which it didn't take long for the Uchiha to come up with a comeback. Which it may or may not have involved sending Naruto out on a search mission to find his pet dog ramen Uzumaki. Why name a dog ramen only a dope would know.

In which I let Gaara borrow the dog, so that I could get Naruto out of the village to look for him. Oh yes I'm like that. The dope thought it would be funny to do what he did. Think again. But all this involved was just rewatching one of Naruto's favorite movies with his favorite actor in it to pull this off.

Naruto's P.O.V.

'Dammit, why did Sasuke teme have to lose my dog?' Looking around franticly for ramen. He couldn't help but think that this was most likely payback for what he did two weeks ago. Finally upon reaching the gates of Suna and allowed in. He came to realize that Sasuke had done this on purpose and try to treat it as 'Ace Ventura: Pet detective.' Reaching the door to the Kazekage's office finally he just barge's in without knocking.

"What is it now Naruto?" Gaara asked trying not to laugh at his friend.

"You know damn well why I'm here. Sasuke's little plan failed."

"I knew it would, so here is ramen and have fun." Leaving with his dog in tail Naruto couldn't wait till he got back to Konoha. Oh on how he was going to have fun after letting the Uchiha play this scene out.

**Everyone P.O.V. 2 days later**

Finally upon reaching the gates of Konoha. Sakura who happen to be near when Naruto came back, looked at the peeved face he was making. And of course she knew not to get near him with what happened last time when he seduced Sasuke two weeks ago. Boy did she still have a headache when he yelled at her the other day when she heard on what happened.

Opening the door to their apartment and walking in. But as soon as Naruto walked in he wasn't planning on how it would play out.

"Thank you for finding Ramen, Naruto. Is there any way I can repay you?"

"Well, a reward is nice. I sustained damage to my body. Had to switch to premium."

"Wouldn't it be better to take your pants off?"

"Um, let me think. Sure!"

Dropping down to his knees, and pulling the Uzumaki's pants down. For what happened next only happened in Naruto's dreams. Taking in Naruto's half harden member into his mouth already and things started to get really heated. For Naruto had to throw his hands up and grab ahold of the door jam, while at the same time moaning out Sasuke's name when he deep throated. For Naruto didn't know how much longer he could hold out, till he released into Sasuke's mouth. Oh for sure he was going to get back at his bastard of a boyfriend even worse now.

**A/N: Not as good as the first I know. Just running out of ideas. And your ideas could make it here.**


	3. Chapter 3

It has been three months now since the Uchiha and Uzumaki gotten together. And that tonight was going to be when Sasuke was going to ask Naruto to marry him. And little did the Uchiha know that Naruto was going to ask him to marry him and that it would be perfect for the Uzumaki to get payback at the teme. For Naruto took the ring that Sasuke was hiding oh so carefully. Yeah right since he was able to find it in Sasuke's night stand.

**Flashback**

_Walking to his favorite ramen stand with his dog in tow. Naruto couldn't help but think on how he was going to get payback at the Uchiha. But couldn't think of anything good, for its been three months now when they gotten together. Entering into the ramen stand now he noticed Kiba sitting there eating some ramen._

_"Oh, hey Kiba."_

_"Hey Naruto, have the Uchiha propose yet."_

_"What?" For Naruto looked perplexed and confused at the question Kiba just asked._

_"Well it looks like he didn't yet by the way you look. Oh by the way he's hiding a ring to propose to you tonight." In which Naruto suddenly left because of what Kiba said gave him the idea of taking the ring himself and proposing to the Uchiha instead of the other way around. 'What a perfect payback.' Naruto thought as he made it back to their apartment._

_**End flashback**_

Sitting there silently watching TV. Uzumaki Naruto couldn't help but grin at the fact that he was going to get payback at his Sasuke teme. But where was the teme at the moment, he didn't have a single clue on his whereabouts till…

"What the hell!"

"Well I guess I found him." Naruto said to himself as Sasuke came stomping into the living area. But one does think an angry looking Uchiha looks sexy. Getting up from the couch and heading over to the Uchiha and wrapping his arms around his neck. The next thing Sasuke knew that he didn't know it would happen.

"You know as fascinating that you show emotions Sasuke, Why don't we go back and shag?"

"I beg your pardon Naru?"

"We haven't done it in what thirty days or so, because I've been mad. But I want to see if my bits still work."

"…"

"You know my wedding tackle."

"…"

"But anyways do I make you horny Sasu?"

"Sorry."

"Do I make you horny? Am I eros manifest?"

"I do hope that this is part of being a dope."

All but now dragging Naruto to the bedroom, and closing the door. Sasuke couldn't think of anything else except to ravish his dope. Now straddling Naruto and latching his lips with of the dope. Sasuke couldn't wait any longer, and after they were both undressed. Sasuke couldn't help but notice that the ring box fell out of Naruto's pants pocket.

"You know Sasu, I have ways of finding things out. And this being one of them. So will you marry me?" And with that Sasuke took his chance and starting pounding the blond into the mattress immediately, as his way of saying yes to the dope. Soon both were cumming everywhere, and out of it. That they both went to sleep not caring that Sasuke was on top of Naruto, and still in him.


	4. Chapter 4

Whoever said that weddings are times of fun gatherings, are clearly wrong. For starters the emotionless dickhead had to crash the wedding when we didn't clearly invite him, but he still came. And secondly you can say that Uzumaki Naruto was nervous for finally being able to get married to his Sasuke. But back to the Sai thing. I clearly remember telling him not to come.

So now just standing here for the Uchiha to get his ass in here, because I know that he knows that Sai is here. And also the two hate each other's guts. The main reason why he wasn't invited. And also that he made passes at me. But we planned on letting it slide and kick his ass out at the reception.

As the wedding came and gone, and at the reception Sai was kicked out by both Sasuke and Naruto. And one could say in the end things ended smoothly.


End file.
